for colored girls

colored girls phaseout

2007-09-09T18:50:00.001-04:00

So, I'm phasing out "for colored girls" a bit in favor of a new blog I started "Black Feminisms." I kept feeling like I was going to have to rename this blog "Mourning for New York" as almost everything I wanted to write about had to do with how much I miss the city. So in lieu of a whiny blog, I've decided to embark upon a productive one: one that incorporates my teaching, cultural criticism, and feminist politics. Maybe I'll return to "for colored girls" at some point. Maybe not.

conjuring nina

2007-08-24T09:13:00.001-04:00

Last weekend when my girl Lynn and I went to check out the African World Festival in Detroit, I told her I was "conjuring Nina Simone." I had forked out my fro and draped a floor-length sundress over my sunbrown frame. I was looking good and feeling really diva-ish, ya know.

But conjuring Nina is more than a matter of style. Cultural critic Mark Anthony Neal posted this piece recently that acknowledges Simone's impact on our [the hip hop] generation. Lauren Hill, Talib Kweli, and Common have evoked Nina either verbally or through sampling. To be sure, Nina's music transcends time and generation.

But for me, growing up a dark-skinned girl in a Eurocentric environment, Nina was [and still is] also visual reminder of fierce, unadulterated black beauty and bravery. She was outspoken, or as Neal describes, "ornery," and unapologetic about it. I'm so grateful to have seen her perform before she passed on. Between intermissions, she would saunter onto the stage with her head held high and command the awe she so deserved. When I think about the model of black womanhood she represents for us "women of a certain age," I feel a little sad for the black girls coming up today (some who have no idea who Nina Simone is: I know, I asked my students). Whenever I'm feeling "less-than..." I'm glad I can conjure Nina, tilt my head high, fork out my fro and get my strut on.

midwest weather forecast ... sucky again

2007-08-23T07:28:00.001-04:00

Heat+rain=humid

the walker and the walk

2007-08-19T10:03:00.000-04:00

I've long been an avid walker. As a city kid, I walked the Mission and downtown San Francisco, the Wharf, Pier 39. I grew up walking to and from school, scaling the towering hills that make up SF's signature landscape. Then I'd spend summers with my father and other family in small-town Tejas where I was convinced we could walk the whole town. Quite often we'd follow the railroad tracks like those kids in Stand by Me. Luckily we never stumbled upon a dead body. We did sneak around unpopulated corners and under bridges to smoke cigarettes though.

New York by far is my favorite walking city. The city is filled with so many attention grabbing shops, vendors, people, performers that you can walk miles and miles up and down streets and avenues and not grow very tired (at least not quickly). Today's Times features lovely meditations on the walk:

"The walk unfurls according to mood, physical endurance and visual appetite," writer Nicole Krauss tells us. Historicizing the walk, Alex Marshall reminds us, "The 19th century was the age of the flaneur and the boulevardier, figures who made strolling down Fifth Avenue or Broadway, often vividly attired, a fashionable activity worthy of their counterparts in Paris or London." Other avid walkers share their stories as well. Feel free to share yours too.

yep, another reason to love new york

2007-08-13T07:14:00.000-04:00

New Yorkers live longer! Could it be that walking promotes a longer healthy life? I've always believed this, but not at a snail's pace ...

"Researchers have long known that people here walked fast—far faster than anyone else in the country. Indeed, the easiest way to tell a New Yorker from an out-of-towner is by walking speed: The natives blast down the sidewalk at blitzkrieg pace, and the visitors mosey along like pack mules."

keep reading here

New Study: Making Black Girls "Ladylike" Discourages Achievement?

2007-08-09T10:49:00.000-04:00

(Big ups to my girl at brown girl chronicles for bringing this to my attention.)

WASHINGTON – A new study shows that teachers tend to view the behavior of black girls as not "ladylike" and therefore focus disciplinary action on encouraging behaviors like passivity, deference, and bodily control at the expense of curiosity, outspokenness, and assertiveness.

click here to continue reading ...

improper jogger

2007-08-07T09:34:00.000-04:00

Since women are not allowed to run topless in public (even at 96 degrees), isn't it only fair that men with boobs follow the same prohibition?

i heart janeane garofalo

2007-08-05T23:05:00.000-04:00

It's a wonderfully stormy night and I just watched The Truth About Cats and Dogs. It reaffirms everything I love about Janeane Garofalo. She's dynamic, a great actor, funny, pretty, smart, on the right sight of politics ... I know she's playing a character but come on, "Abby" plays the violin on one end of the phone line then her love interest reads to her from Camera Lucida in turn. Okay, maybe it's just me.

p.s. I watched Dirty Dancing earlier and decided to listen to Otis Redding for two hours. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"

not everything is about race ... really

2007-08-03T09:42:00.000-04:00

Is the NAACP running out of relevant causes to support? To be sure, no one should be presumed guilty (not even an "alleged" despicable abuser of animals) until he's had his day in court. But really people, Vick has more than enough money to hire the best lawyers in his defense. Why doesn't the NAACP do something useful for a change? Like make sure kids in low income school districts get proper textbooks and access to technology! Or why not offer some useful commentary about black men and how too many are entangled in the sports industrial complex (oh yeh, a critique of masculinity would need to be launched here as well; not sure all those male mouthpieces of the NAACP are ready for that).

And check out the way R.L. Wright addressed the following question:

When the Duke lacrosse players were accused of rape, the NAACP came out early in favor of the accuser. Isn’t that the same thing PETA and the Humane Society are doing?
In the case of the Duke players, everyone did form an opinion before the trial, and I’ve been reminded several times that the NAACP came out in favor of the young woman who was the accuser in that case. And I’ve said that just because you make one mistake doesn’t mean you have to continue to make mistakes. In other words, instead of saying, “Let’s rush to judgment in this case because the same thing happened to those boys at Duke,” we should be learning from what happened there and stopping the prejudgment of people’s guilt outside of a courtroom.

Wrong Answer RL! How about, "Well, in the Duke case we might have rushed to judgment but white men DO have a history of raping or otherwise sexually abusing black women with impunity. And the um accuser in that rape case is not a dog."

my so-called midwestern life

2007-07-31T16:29:00.001-04:00

I haven't posted to the blog in weeks because I was in a real city and had better things to do. In case you can't read through the sarcasm, I'm feeling sad that I had to return to the midwest from New York (sorry midwesterners; you are really lovely people BUT ... New York is, well, it's New York).
I had a fabulous summer. I got some work done in Columbia's beautiful reading rooms, played A LOT, went to Scotland, saw one of my favorite groups Brazilian Girls, discovered a new live ass group The Cat Empire, reconnected with some fabulous friends, met some new fabulous artists I hope to work with and continue to befriend in the future (shout outs to Kim and Tonya), and ate lots and lots of great food (no I didn't gain any weight; I walked it all off: my motto was actually "What I eat in New York stays in New York" and hey, it worked).

Now I'm getting back to the grind, preparing for fall classes and working on an article. My goal this year is to find the joy in writing again. Really I lost it while writing my diss. It was such a fucking chore, I started to dread writing, which is totally traumatic for a writer! Anyway, I'm trying to remember that I actually like to write and still keep to my deadlines (that I set for myself now).

I'm also giving myself until the end of the week to get out of my funk. I chose to leave NY and come to the midwest for good reasons (I think). And as one of my dear friends (Alison) said to me, New York will always be waiting for me with open arms. For that I am truly grateful.

i'm baaack...

2007-06-23T10:11:00.000-04:00

Back in the city for some professional edification (that's scholar-speak for a summer seminar). I'm only here for a brief stint but couldn't stop smiling for three days when I returned to NY last week. Even landing in LGA was an experience. As most of us know, midwesterners tend to be a tad more portly than city-dwellers. In comparison, New Yorkers seem so skinny to me now, but a good skinny not a "give that girl a sandwich" skinny. All the walking probably helps. I should have brought my pedometer to clock how much more I've been stepping since I got back.

My first weekend back, I went to Central Park Summerstage (one of my favorite summer to-dos in NY) to see Olu Dara and Cassandra Wilson (one of my favorite people). It was awesome just being in the midst of multiculti, international, beautiful fucking people!

Charles Burnett also guest-appeared at the IFC to talk about his 1970s film Killer of Sheep. The film has been restored thanks to UCLA and it's great that it's getting a national run. Burnett really touched upon the difficulties of a working class black family in a way that doesn't fall into stereotypes or feed into masculinist ideas about black family. Go see this film if you haven't already!

Besides enjoying summer in the city, I've been working and taking advantage of the resources at Columbia (where my seminar is being held). I'm also psyched to catch up with my girls, revisit some of my haunts (like Cafeteria and Pipa) and discover some new places (like "A" -- a tucked away organic French Caribbean spot here on the UWS). More to discover. More fun to be had. So glad to be back!

joining the ancestors

2007-06-11T09:55:00.000-04:00

World renowned Senegalese filmmaker Ousmane Sembene has left us for otherwordly adventures. May his journey be a peaceful one.

the end

2007-06-11T09:40:00.000-04:00

(spoiler alert in case you were under a rock when the final episode of The Sopranos aired last night)

David Chase is effen brilliant. I don't care what anyone says. Those final minutes of suspense were classic. My heart was racing when Tony sat down in the diner and those suspicious looking guys kept eyeing him from the bar. Then Meadow couldn't park her car. And what was up with that cat?! Damn.

The family meets as this uber-American diner. Journey blasts from the speakers. And then, total blackout. Way to anticlimax Dave. As one who hates neat and tidy endings, I love that Chase honored our intelligence and fidelity to the show by leaving us with a conclusion we can think and talk about for years to come. Check out other discussions of The Sopranos finale in the Times and Salon.

joan armatrading

2007-06-03T09:49:00.000-04:00

Joan Armatrading discusses the blues and her new CD on weekend edition.

i think i've been oprahed

2007-05-30T08:12:00.000-04:00

What better way to spend time recovering from minor surgery than watching hours of bad television and movies curled up on the couch? Day 4 into that, I caught one of those episodes of Oprah that fires up the consumer capitalist in us all: a giveaway show. Her theme for the show was the summer beach bag and all the goodies we should charge on our credit cards and put in said beach bag (unless we were one of the fortunate who were given these goodies on the show). The first summer "must-have" was Robin Thicke's latest cd (you know the cool son-of-Alan [thanks Rana] with a falsetto smooth enough to woo smoking diva Paula Patton).

Thicke performed a couple of tunes on the show to back up Oprah's claims that The Evolution ... is the cd to have and you know what, I was totally sucked in. I imagined riding down the midwest highways on my way to the beach, visor back, Robin Thicke pumping through the speakers ... In other words, I was Oprahed.

Any of you who have been Oprahed know what I'm talking about (anyone who's gone out and bought The Secret has been Oprahed). She just has this uncanny ability to convince her viewers to do things: read certain books, stop eating beef, buy "must-have" products. And while I have neither time nor the inclination to be a regular watcher of the show, each time I kneel at the altar of her stage in Harpo studios, I am totally converted. I want to teach at her school or go hunt down one of those sickass internet predators all on my own and sacrifice him at the feet of Oprah. I want to download Robin Thicke's album (which wouldn't be that big of a deal except that I'm not a fan of sappy R & B).

I'm also not exactly a "fan" of Oprah though I do admire her. Her gift to motivate people to aspire to better lives can be channelled toward good ends. Trying to negotiate that motivation with the dose of consumerism and materialism that accompanies it can be really tricky though.

shark diva

2007-05-23T09:33:00.000-04:00

sistas are doing it for themselves ...

4 hero

2007-05-17T11:45:00.000-04:00

I must have been under a rock in February not to notice that one of the most amazing groups I've heard in some time had dropped another album. My buddy, the dj-ing librarian introduced me to 4 Hero a few years ago and usually keeps me up on the newest and hottest underground transnational shiznick. But he slept on this one or I did or I was busy. Probably the latter. Anyway, check out their myspace page.

so good

2007-05-14T16:17:00.000-04:00

School's out and I've finally had a moment for one of my favorite pastimes: downloading new tunes. I'd seen Amy Winehouse's video for "I'm No Good" on Vh-1 soul and have been meaning to check her out for some time. I've finally downloaded (legally) her CD Back to Black and it's sooooo tight! I think I've found my summer CD (along with Jay-Z's Unplugged and Feist's The Reminder; last summer Gnarls Barkley's St. Elsewhere dominated my players as I was all-but-defended and feeling "Crazy!!!").

Because she's white, British, and soulful (something that really shouldn't be considered a rarity anymore), Winehouse elicits comparisons to Joss Stone, whose voice is good, but in my opinion a little over-affected (you know, one too many riffs sounds like a singer is trying too hard). To be honest, I think Winehouse can sing Stone under the table. Both are around the same age, but unlike Stone, Winehouse sounds natural and effortless, sorta like old school soulful Brit Lisa Stansfield. Winehouse just has that Something. It usually takes awhile for a CD to grow on me (like with Van Hunt), but Back to Black is already "in rotation" and will be for some time.

simulated sex or simulated rape?

2007-05-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

When I first heard the chatter about Akon's concert in Trinidad and his on-stage simulated sex with a minor, I thought the performance was a repeat of the routine bump, grind, and wine that goes on at numerous dance hall and/or hip hop concerts and that Akon probably had no idea that the concert-goer, Danah Alleyne, was underage (and perhaps he didn't). But after reading about Verizon's decision to drop the singer from their annoying cell-phone ad and to no longer support Akon and Gwen Stefani's tour (due in part to the efforts of groups like What About Our Daughters), I decided to take a look at the offensive video on you-tube (yep, it's still up there).

To my surprise and dismay, the performance looked more like a simulated rape than an erotic dance! Regardless of the girl's age, she does not appear to be a willing participant as Akon throws her around the stage and gyrates violently on top of her numerous times (and the girl makes noises that sound like screams!) then leaves her tossled body on the stage floor as he walks off. What the *%&@?!

It doesn't matter how she was dressed or whether or not she should or should not have been allowed into the club or if she was dancing along at first. It doesn't even matter that she's rumored to be a preacher's daughter! When is it ever acceptable to publicly humiliate a woman (any woman) in the way that Akon publicly humiliated that girl?! I'm sure she didn't imagine a "dance" would entail her head being banged around and her body being assaulted in that way. Why are people blaming HER for such treatment? What if she had been eighteen and thus legally entitled to enter the club? Would Akon's behavior have been given a second glance? Of course not because any girl fan who agrees to dance with a superstar is "asking" for whatever she gets. Sounds just like the logic used to blame victims for being raped, doesn't it?

i love ladies in hats!

2007-05-05T12:27:00.000-04:00

niggas, bitches, and hos

2007-04-25T08:45:00.000-04:00

You know we're in trouble when Russell Simmons becomes the spokesperson for the hip hop generation. His most recent brilliant idea to bleep three more derogatory words from hip hop lyrics (what about other genres that use those three words? Like Meredith Brooks's "Bitch," for instance?) does nothing to address the social inequalities that actually produce the sentiments that some rappers espouse. Why bleep more words? I can hear it now: most mainstream rap (the kind they play on the radio) will be 3 minutes of bleeps with a few words worked in. How about promoting hip hop artists who actually have something thoughtful to say? Like Jean Grae, or Flo Brown, or Talib Kweli, or Dead Prez... and so many others (time for the underground to come above ground perhaps?)

I can't promise all these hip hop artists adhere to a politics of respectability but they will be a welcome change from the souped up commercial jingles that dominate the radio stations presently.

does hip hop hate (black) women (too)?

2007-04-15T08:35:00.000-04:00

I decided not to write about Imus's remarks for various reasons, one of which is the mass amount of media attention paid to his racialized sexist comments. His was not an abstract invocation of jive rhetoric (as he claimed). Rather, he insulted a real group of women who didn't warrant such vitriole. People spoke out, and he was fired. The end?

Perhaps while people who claim to care about racialized sexism have the attention of CBS, we can use this opportunity to call attention to one of their channels that revels in the exploitation of black people in general and black women in particular: BET. Contrary to popular belief, BET is not owned by black people, it merely targets black audiences. To be sure, the caliber of shows and videos thrive according to audience taste. Hence, the circulation of petitions to cut BET's semipornographic "Uncut" succeeded in the network's cancellation of the show.

But I suppose we couldn't stop at BET, especially since VH-1 seems to have morphed into the "all cooning, all the time" channel with shows like "Flavor of Love" and "I Love New York" leading their line-ups. And I'm not suggesting "we" whoever "we" are engage in a censorship campaign. But it is important to use these media fiascos as teaching moments and opportunities to continue drawing attention to the violence (both verbal and physical) black women encounter on a daily basis.

At the same time, some Imus critics and defenders have called out hip hop for its misogynistic lyrics, as if hip hop scholars, critics and activists have not been critiquing its lyrical content for a number of years now. So before we applaud Imus (like some folks did "Kramer") for raising a mirror to black communities' intraracial problems, we should remember that critiques of hip hop have been waged from within black communities since the cassette tape was still in circulation. T. Denean Sharpley-Whiting's new book Pimps Up, Ho's Down: Hip Hop's Hold on Young Black Women furthers these analyses, offering a fresh feminist perspective on hip hop's misogynistic culture and its association with the sex industry. Joining Professor Sharpley-Whiting in a national tour, critics Bakari Kitwana, Mark Anthony Neal, Joan Morgan, and Byron Hurt have scheduled a number of rap sessions (well before the Imus debacle) that address the question of hip hop's hatred of women. It's a pity that the interventions these scholars have been making into hip hop culture, gender and sexuality doesn't garner the same attention as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson's sermonic pontification.

a blues exorcism

2007-03-10T09:44:00.000-05:00

The white girl chained to a radiator wasn't what fueled my skepticism of Craig Brewer's Black Snake Moan. Afterall, I'd sat through Boxing Helena, which was some real sick and twisted misogynistic shit ... but I digress. I was initially skeptical of Black Snake because of Brewer's debut film Hustle and Flow, which admittedly I didn't see. I just couldn't find any compelling reasons to sympathize with a pimp nor could I buy Terrence Howard as a rapper. Call me crazy.

I also wondered why Brewer was so fascinated with black culture: first hip hop, then the blues. Was he trying to do something provocative with race or was he -- like Eminem -- using the most bankable commodity (blackness) to his advantage?

After reading salon.com's interview with Brewer, I sensed that something other than fetishism and misogyny might be motivating Brewer to create racially and sexually provocative films set in his homestate of Tennessee. I'm also a student of the blues and know full well how it can complicate and entangle spirituality, magic, and sex.

Brewer obviously is aware of the intricacies of blues music and blues mythology as well as Black Snake lays to bear a full out blues exorcism of painful demons: of sexual trauma, of lost love. The film is not without its problems, but the on-screen chemistry between Christina Ricci and Samuel L. Jackson is not one of them. Not sexual chemistry, but a kinship induced by shared pain. The film delves uncomfortably into the reluctant intimacies that sometimes develop between blacks and whites in a racist and segregated south. But that's one of the things that makes it interesting. No doubt Brewer was well aware of the controversy that would arise when he decided to feature a black man chaining a white woman to a radiator. That image alone holds an entire history of sexualized racism and violence. But I applaud Brewer for treading into such scary territory. Black Snake is not a flawless film to be sure, but it is visually interesting (especially the scene in the juke joint when Sam Jackson performs) and the plotline is complex. And though I hate to admit it, Justin Timberlake ain't half bad either.

a girl like me

2007-02-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

I got linked up to this short while reading blackprof.com this morning. Several mature and insightful young sisters weigh in on the struggles black girls encounter as they grapple with notions of beauty in our culture. Quite impressive.

am i the only one who doesn't get the joke?

2007-02-09T10:01:00.000-05:00

Eddie Murphy is indeed a master of comedy. He has the uncanny ability to transform himself into different characters and adopt various voices, personalities, and dialects. But am I the only one who doesn't find the "Flip Wilsonesque" tradition of dragging as black women in ways that promote stereotype and caricature NOT FUNNY? Some Tyler Perry fans (yes I have met some) have defended his Madea routine as flattery and a show of fondness for his granny. I also think most folks were too doubled over in belly laughs to pay very much attention to the way Martin Lawrence's ghettofabulous alter-ego "Shanana" or Jamie Foxx's "Wanda" caricatured certain types of black women. Now, I'm not hypersensitive about this stuff. I just don't get the joke. I don't understand what's funny about black men making fun of their grannies, the girl down the block, or the booster next door. Maybe it's me. Can someone please clue me in?

yes, there are more of us

2007-02-05T08:02:00.001-05:00

"You mean Barak and Condi aren't the only 'articulate' black folks?"

ah hell naw

2007-02-03T11:29:00.000-05:00

Biden might as well bow out now. There's no way in hell he'll survive this campaign.

shondaland

2007-01-22T19:06:00.000-05:00

Grey's Anatomy is easily one of the best shows on network television -- if not the best. I have a standing appointment with the creative brainchild of fellow "colored girl" Shonda Rhimes each Thursday. But, if I do happen to miss an episode, I can watch online.

It's difficult to pinpoint what makes the show so addictive. A cast of hot docs isn't new to network. E.R. remained the master of the hot doc genre for sometime but has since outlived it's time slot.

It's not McDreamy or McSteamy (well they are hot but it's not just that) or the undue attention paid to the show's wishy washy namesake Meredeth Grey. There's something about the emotional complexity of the storylines -- with a perfect dose of the comic -- that keeps viewers returning week after week. And the ensemble cast is an ethnically diverse group of actors, many of whom are skilled on the stage and haven't been typecast by Hollywood. The chemistry just works.

Losing Isaiah?
There's a bit of discord in Shondaland, however, as evidenced by recent episodes at the Golden Globes and T.R. Knight's (George) interview with Ellen Degeneres. There was some mild attention paid to the onset row between Isaiah Washington (Burke) and Patrick Dempsey (Derek aka Dr. "McDreamy") a few months ago when Washington used a homophobic slur in reference to Knight (who later came out as gay). This incident resurfaced at the Globes when a reporter asked Washington if he actually called Knight the "f" word (and I don't mean feminist). Though Washington denied the incident, Knight later confirmed it on Ellen and needless to say, all is not well in Shondaland. Washington made public apologies and appeals to lesbian and gay civil rights' groups but I wonder if the cast will be able to heal from this incident or if will be losing Isaiah.

I've been a long time fan of Washington and have always lamented the fact that there aren't enough roles for fine black actors like him (and I don't just mean fine in the vernacular sense). But his insensitivity to Knight really disappointed me. I would have felt similarly let down if Knight had called Washington a racial slur (as I've grown quite fond Knight as an actor as a result of his role of Grey's). It's just not okay to treat people that way and I think it's important as groups who are discriminated against to hold one another accountable when we enact the same kinds of violence against other marginalized groups. The best possible scenario is that the cast will work through this incident and remain intact. The thing is once people use hateful words against one another they can't be taken back. Perhaps as we watch the real people behind this vibrant cast grapple with the very diversity the show espouses, we will learn something about the kind of work and acceptance it takes to actually realize a community of difference.

good news for singletons ... maybe

2007-01-16T11:58:00.000-05:00

Will the increasing number of women living on their own shift expectations of bourgeois heteronormative coupling as a goal for most women?

in memorium

2007-01-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." These words, written by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. from Birmingham prison, are as true today as they were in 1963.

During the King holiday, the media tends to shower us with broadcasts of King's "mountaintop speech." And while that speech is remarkable, its rhetoric of liberalism and integration tends to assuage those who would shirk at some of King's more radical sentiments-- his outspokenness on class, his condemnation of the Vietnam War, and other "less quotable" remarks. The American media prefers instead to memorialize a peaceful, pacifist fixed in one moment in time instead of appreciating the entire man and instead of acknowledging the continued relevance of his philosophies, especially in a climate in which social injustice continues unabated.

Today we must continue to speak out against injustice. As our government insists upon continuing on the path of war and devastation in the Middle East, we must agitate for peace. Let's observe this memorial holiday in protest of our government's criminal behavior. We need more than ever to let our voices be heard "from the mountaintop" and in the streets!

The L is Back

2007-01-07T08:51:00.000-05:00

Get ready you lipstick lesbian loving ladies (yeh, I know Shane is supposed to be "butch" but look at her). Season 4 of the L word premieres tonight. And while I completely agree with Mirandala dot org that there are soooo many reasons to hate this show (or at least to kick yourself for loving it), I've been anticipating its return for several weeks now (enough to actually order a premium channel on my otherwise basic digital cable lineup).

At the end of Season 3, the girls were still mourning Dana who, to the chagrin of the cast and fans of the show, the producers killed off with breast cancer. (Come on Ilene. Did you have to ax one of the most likable characters? Why not throw Jenny off a cliff?)

After proposing to Carmen in a fit of grief, Shane left her hottie wife-to-be at the altar. Loner Shane had finally met her wayward dad and upon discovering he was a womanizing con, she assumed she could be no better.

Season 3's cliffhanger also featured Bette fleeing Canada with kidnapped baby in tow, menopausal Kit pregnant by that hippy dippy "manny" Angus, Alice and Laura comforting one another through their loss of Dana (who they were both in love with) and heiress Helena being cut off financially by her kickass mom. I know its unrealistic, borderline soap opera drama. But I can't not watch it! Plus, the show is introducing a whole new crop of ladies we'll love to hate/hate to love including Marlee Matlin.

And the show does have some redeeming moments. Their farewell to the late, great Ossie Davis (who brilliantly played Bette and Kit's curmudgeonly dad) was an amazing overlap of life and art. And the producers manage to insert politics into the show at rare moments without being overly propagandistic. And dammit, the girls are hot.

Some of my lesbian and straight girlfriends who have seen the show complain that the characters are not representative of the diverse lesbian/bi community, but I don't think the show makes any such claims anyway. The producers are clearly trying to chart out new territory with the inclusion of a transgender character (last season) and the introduction of a woman in the military and a deaf character (this season), but it's impossible to represent every segment of the lesbian population, plus it is television afterall. Titilation and elements of fantasy are par for the course.

And I'm just glad it's on the air because in spite of its flaws, it does push the envelope of popular culture a great deal. And while the show has a diverse following, I feel like the target audience is women. In a culture in which women's sexuality is usually put on display for the enjoyment of heterosexual men, it's refreshing that the creative team behind the show manages to make relationships between women sexy and entertaining but not reduce it to a male porn fantasy. For that, the show deserves some credit.

B. Smith becomes face of Betty Crocker Cornbread

2007-01-05T10:16:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember, my mom has preferred Jiffy cornbread (whenever she has been disinclined to make cornbread from scratch). To be sure, Jiffy has long held sway over black consumers. Perhaps due to its sweet and "down-homey" taste. Or maybe just because the box advertises "cornbread" rather than "corn muffins."

Eager to lay claim to black consumers (and just in time for the holiday season), General Mills decided to "blacken" their Betty Crocker cornbread mix (formerly known as corn muffin mix) by adding cook show diva B. Smith's face to their product. Now I know what y'all are thinking: modern day Aunt Jemima. And you're not the only one who has made this connection. "B." contests this ready association between herself and Aunt Jemima in an interview with NPR's Farai Chideya. But what do we make of the almost intuitive move by GM to harken back to the image of a black woman--cooking with a smile--as a way to promote the "authenticity" of their cornbread mix?

While former model turned restaurateur B. Smith is not a caricature, like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben, does GM's marketing strategy really differ from the R.T. Davis Milling Co.? Granted, B. Smith is getting paid better for her image, but like Nancy Green (the real woman behind the Aunt Jemima product), B. provides a "living trademark" to promote GM's product, a trademark that evokes similar associations in the American imagination. Otherwise B. wouldn't have to defend herself against the Aunt Jemima image.

At the same time, the success of GM's marketing strategy could suggest that black and white consumers alike find comfort in this iconographic figure. Perhaps the image goes beyond southern nostalgia to embrace some sense of "home" or a longing for conventional performances of mothering. Yet black women tend to get fixed in these roles. To be sure, B. Smith is exercising her freedom to market her brand as she chooses, but I think we would be remiss not to read the circulation of black female bodies critically, especially in the American marketplace (also see my earlier piece on the continued marketing of the mammy image).

2007

2007-01-01T11:33:00.000-05:00

Some time ago I stopped making New Year's resolutions. I don't remember why exactly but it might have had something to do with the annoying way resolutionaries overcrowd the gym from January 1 until about mid-February and leave a pool of sweat on all the machines in an effort to shed 15 years of fat in 15 minutes. I wait--irritated--I-pod on full blast until the resolutionaries finally give up and I can use the crosstrainer again.

In other words, I'm not a fan of broken promises. Of those I make to myself or to other people. I stopped making those grand New Year's gestures and decided to gradually ease into better habits whenever I became inspired to do so, whether it was June, November or January.

At the same time, 2007 is pretty darn special for me as it's the first dissertation-free year I've had in about 3 years. I feel compelled to make plans! Travel plans, dating plans, plans to shed those excess "phd lbs." Most of all, I want to stop putting off the pleasures of life--the impulsive, silly, inconvenient dalliances I couldn't or didn't partake in because I had deadlines or a standing appointment with my laptop.

And I do desire to make some changes in my life now that I've achieved a long-standing goal of mine. I want to fulfill some other goals: write that novel that's been materializing in my head, do pilates, meditate more often, meet datable people, date datable people. But all these things won't happen just because the clock struck 12 and we've declared it time for new beginnings. I guess if I made resolutions I would resolve to at least act on some of my desires. To make a step toward "the new." And perhaps if I do a little bit each day, by the end of the year I'll be a few steps closer to the me I'd like to be.

chitlin circuit holiday entertainment

2006-12-29T12:03:00.000-05:00

So I finally did it. I watched a Tyler Perry film. The cultural critic in me had to know what it was about his brand of comedy that propelled him from the Chitlin Circuit to Hollywood.

It's the holiday season and I'm visiting my mom and relatives in smalltown east Tejas. The perfect opportunity to lounge in front of the gaudy big screen that takes up too much space in mom's living room and watch some down home entertainment. It won't take any convincing for mom and aunt to watch Diary of A Mad Black Woman with me as both of them have already seen and enjoyed the movie that thousands of other black folk have also seen and enjoyed.

Within 5 minutes I'm ready to bail. I think to myself, This is the stupidest s&#t I've ever seen in my life! Is this supposed to be funny? And yet I realize the appeal it has for some audiences. To be sure, most black people I know--myself included--have relatives that bare close resemblances to the characters in that film. Crackhead cousins, dirty uncles, foul-mouthed and boisterous "big mamas." Perry's filmic landscape is filled with caricatures of these folk and then topped off with a dose of Christian morality and proselytization.

For me, as I suspected, the film was neither funny nor entertaining (in part due to a little known pet peave of mine: black men dressing up and imitating their grandmas). But I'm sure Tyler Perry isn't losing any sleep in his high thread count sheets over what some cultural snob thinks about his movies. Afterall, I'm not his target audience. But the Perryization of black film does suggest to me that black actors and filmmakers are still caught up in a perpetual "hollywood shuffle" in which black folk--with very few exceptions-- must either shuck and jive or sing and dance in order to make it to the big screen.

one time for the godfather

2006-12-25T11:50:00.000-05:00

''He was dramatic to the end -- dying on Christmas Day,'' said the Rev. Jesse Jackson, a friend of Brown's since 1955. ''Almost a dramatic, poetic moment. He'll be all over the news all over the world today. He would have it no other way.''

rape and regrets

2006-12-23T08:58:00.000-05:00

Rape charges against the Duke lacrosse team have been dropped, but the prosecution is still moving forward with kidnapping and sexual assault charges. One thing for certain is that no one but the two exotic dancers and the players present at the party -- all of whom were reputedly drunk -- really knows what happened. But because the case raises so many race and class issues, it will continue to have symbolic meaning and far-reaching impact.

morning reading: gender testing

2006-12-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not an avid sports fan so it's no surprise that I was totally ignorant about the gender testing Olympic athletes have to undergo. Granted, Olympic competitions are divided along gender lines so officials have to be as fair as possible. At the same time, the extent of these genital and chromosonal tests seem violating. Indian runner Santhi Soundararajan was recently declared "not a woman" because she has an SRY gene. As a result, she may lose the silver medal she won in the Asian games. As gender becomes increasingly indeterminate (afterall their are a number of intersex and trangender people, etc.), will we (Americans) be able to adjust our fixed ideas about gender and sexuality? We can't even manage to legalize same sex marriage in this country so it's clear we have a long way to go before we can conceptualize sex/gender in more evolved ways.

sunday morning reading

2006-12-17T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's great to hear from Alice Walker. Her comments on the necessity to critique US imperialism and to speak out for peace are timely. The Guardian's tease about her relationship with Tracy Chapman will lure readers but hopefully won't overshadow the continued relevance of this writer and wise woman.

no justice, no shopping?

2006-12-16T18:08:00.000-05:00

Prostesters in NY (led by Al Sharpton) decided to go public with their denouncement of Sean Bell's killing by marching down Fifth Avenue. That's a ... novel approach. I find it interesting that some tourists were complaining that their shopping was disrupted. Do they realize someone's son, fiancee and father was just shot to death? If they didn't know when they arrived in NY, perhaps the march will accomplish what it set out to do: shed more awareness about police brutality and undue force -- especially when the suspects are black and Latino men.

state of emergency

2006-12-15T10:51:00.000-05:00

I always find it disturbing that the state of black men in the US is always approached as a "community" emergency while black girls and women battling harsh economic conditions fail to elicit similar concern and action. This piece by Earl Ofari Hutchinson might trouble those waters a bit.

wine and yoga retreats?

2006-12-15T10:39:00.000-05:00

I love yoga. And I certainly love wine. But both at the same time? Color me just a tad bit skeptical.

and the knives come out

2006-12-14T21:42:00.000-05:00

I've recently become a watcher of Top Chef. Sort of by happenstance. Project Runway announced their designer du jour and the new season of Top Chef took over Bravo's 10 o'clock Wednesday night time slot. So for the past few weeks I've been captivated by the most delectable amuse-bouche and by earnest attempts to fashion an avante-garde Thanksgiving meal.

Last night the final 8 chefs were challenged to cater an LA cocktail party for 200 and had to work in teams of 4. The Orange team did a remarkable job of laying out a plentiful spread of creative finger foods. The Black team got caught with empty trays and hungry guests. When someone from the Black team was at risk to be voted off, hard headed Cliff offered Mia up for the chopping block. And all hell broke loose as she read him in front of the judges for ignoring her suggestions and virtually ensuring that their team would fail. She called him on his patriarchal bullshit as well and told him to keep his "bleep" in his pants. Is it a coincidence that they're both black (Black team, black drama ... just thinking about it, not being a conspiracy theorist)?

So the judges never revealed who they had chosen to vote off because Mia volunteered herself as a sacrificial lamb for Elia, after disclosing some very personal struggles from her past as a homeless woman who hustled drugs to survive. And I can't help but feel a little ashamed for participating in what was an obvious exploitative reality tv moment for entertainment's sake. Am I reading too deeply into this episode? Maybe. Will I watch the next episode? Absolutely.

master cleanser

2006-12-09T15:17:00.000-05:00

I was just telling a sistafriend this afternoon about my desire to do the master cleanser again and lo and behold, this article popped up on my NY Times homepage. I have long been an advocate of different kinds of fasting and tried the master cleanser years ago before it became "Hollywood" to do so. I've done it about three or four times, only once the entire 10 days. Though I lost weight (and regained some after), I wasn't using the cleanser as a starvation diet and believe it can be dangerous to do so. For me, fasting is more a way to detoxify but also a means of meditation, an opportunity to reassess my mental, spiritual, emotional and physical health. And I've had good results when coupling fasting with a lot of solitude and thoughtfulness (since everyone else is eating, this is not that difficult).

In addition to the master cleanse, I've done raw food fasts, juice fasts and various combinations an old health guru friend of mine Mwangi would contrive: "the garlic is to detoxify, while the raw collard greens will ..." Yeh, Mwangi would put together some doosies but they always did the work he promised they would do. I still seldom get winter colds and flus, perhaps in part due to the seasonal fasts my friend would recommend for me.

In the dissertation years (as I'm calling that dark period now), my will to go without food suffered a great deal (all my willpower was channelled into writing I guess). Consequently I haven't done a substantive fast in some time. Maybe my desire to fast presently is part of an overall shaking off the mental and physical consequences of that intense period in my life. I think it's a good plan to wait until after the holidays to begin, however (not because I intend to pig out--although I am looking forward to my mama's sweet potato pie). The master cleanse actually takes a few days preparation, the actual fast and a post-fast regimen. I doubt that the crash dieters are approaching it in this way, which is why I caution using it solely to lose a quick 10 or 20 pounds. It can present people who want to lose weight an opportunity for a fresh start I suppose, that is if they don't revert to their bad eating habits right after the fast.

While I don't tend to make New Year's resolutions, I think I'll put the master cleanser on my to-do list for Jan 2007. Any takers out there?

ode to my city

2006-12-05T11:20:00.000-05:00

"Cities are archaeological digs, and the layers are made up not just of decaying objects but of memory."

I was taken in by that line from Gary Kamiya's "North Beach Forever" piece in Salon. Plus, he's writing about my city. While in many ways, I love New York more than any other city in the US, San Francisco is home. It will always have my heart. If you've ever captured just a glimpse of the landscape that Kamiya unwraps like a cherished memory, you'll understand why.

sistas overseas

2006-12-04T18:10:00.000-05:00

So my latest bedtime book is Andrea Lee's Interesting Women. I have long been interested in Andrea Lee, a writer from Philly who crafts tales of sistas overseas involved in trysts and marriages with hot French or Italian men. That's putting it a bit lightly: she actually complicates our ideas of blackness via class and travel. (There, that's better) Lee herself lives in Italy with her husband so she has an intimate view into the lives of expats (black, white and other) and nationals.

I learned of Lee a few years ago after picking up her first novel Sarah Phillips. Besides being a travel bee myself, it's refreshing to read literature that advances the cosmopolitanism of some of our early pensmiths like Jessie Redmon Fauset and Nella Larsen. And Interesting Women has certainly whet my appetite for adventure. It's the perfect little bedtime collection that enables me to drift off to sleep thinking of Italy or some other fabulous place Lee's intriguing female characters happen to be in. (Big sigh) I'm feeling a little landlocked. Time to cook up a travel adventure of my own.

killing the "n-word"

2006-12-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

The Michael Richards' tirade has stirred up renewed debate over the infamous "n-word." For some black activists and comedians, the rage with which "Kramer" spewed nigger over and over again has urged them to wage a campaign to eradicate the word (in all of its manifestations--i.e. "nigga" too). This week's section of the Sunday Times features a photo op of Richards and the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Comedian Paul Mooney confessed to npr that after the Laugh Factory incident and a private conversation with Richards, he will ban the word from his vocabulary and his stand-up routine. And even prior to that incident, abolishthenword.com members had been spreading their message that black people need to remember the history of the dehumanizing word (I spoke to them at Ft. Greene's African street festival last summer). Dave Chappelle also recalled his discomfort at white people calling him nigger "in fun," taking this liberty because they'd heard Chappelle play with the term on his now defunct comedy skit show.

I'm certainly not against black public persons (activists, rappers, comedians, whoever) organizing themselves in an effort to lessen the use and circulation of the word. At the same time I wonder if encouraging black people not to use the term will disempower it. I'm also irritated at the way this Kramer debacle seems to be redirecting racist uses of the term back to black people, as if to say "you all use the term so why get mad when white people use it." So is Richards now a "victim" of his uncontrolled rage and anger? Or as blackademic points out, does he get to be touted as some inspirer of civil rights activism since his vitriole has inspired a few black folks to question our culpability in reinforcing the use of the n-word?

I'm not convinced that anyone can ban words of any kind, including racial, sexual and homophobic slurs. We can police them more rigidly and prohibit their circulation in media through fines and the like. We can put stickers on rap albums that use terms like "nigga" and "bitch" in every other line of every song. But what will be gained from these efforts? Eradicating dehumanizing language won't stop violence and hatred. Even without the use of violent language, Sakia Gunn and Matthew Shepard would have been killed and Abner Louima would have still been sexually violated and tortured by police officers.

And this is not to say that words don't matter. They absolutely do, especially in a global context. Richard Pryor had a wake-up call and stopped using the word nigger after a visit to Africa. Other black folks recall being stunned by being called "nigga" or "nigger" during their visits as well. I was called "nigga" three times when travelling in East Africa: once by someone who was a fan of rap music and thought nigga was a friendly term and twice by young African men who were intentionally trying to insult me. I didn't use the term before my trip, I don't use it now. There are so many more loving and affirming ways that black people can "name" ourselves and one another.

So I have no conclusions to make really. Just thinking about this issue and wondering what others have to say about it.

more on nypd shooting

2006-11-30T10:48:00.000-05:00

Blackprof offers an interesting perspective on this case (much more rational and well-thought out than my own emotive response to another case of undue force used against black men by police officers).

shot while black

2006-11-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

I read about the fatal shooting of unarmed groom-to-be Sean Bell in Sunday's Times. I wonder how many times the "shoot-to-kill" method will be used against black men before some effective changes are made or at least until the recurrent cries of outrage are heard. These murders (yes murders) keep happening, Al Sharpton and his posse march and shout afterwards, but the underlying issues that motivate police officers to shoot first and ask questions later (when it comes to black men) remain unresolved.

Here's what other bloggers are writing about the incident. As usual some writers who think racism is a figment of our imagination resent the fact that Sharpton is making the shooting a "racial issue." But when is the last time you've read about an unarmed white man being gunned down by the police like a rabid animal???

monday morning reading

2006-11-27T11:33:00.000-05:00

I found this article by Debra Dickerson at Salon quite on point so I thought I'd share it. Raised in church, I know about black Christian piety all too well and am constantly perplexed at how a historically oppressed group can internalize their oppressor's tools and wield them with such dexterity.

though you may not drive ...

2006-11-23T13:26:00.000-05:00

...a great big Cadillac
Gangsta whitewalls
TV antenna in the back
You may not have a car at all
But remember brothas and sistas
You can still stand tall

Just be thankful for what you've got ...

Yeh, it's Thanksgiving and I'm feeling sappy in spite of myself. It must be because I had yesterday off and watched Oprah. Oy vey. Holidays are always a catch 22 for me. Though I'm close with my mother, most of my relatives are exhausting and I don't like very many of them. You know what they say, "you can't choose ..."

But sometimes I get sucked into the sentimentality of it all and long for that closeness that I see in other families (most tv families really): the big elaborately dressed dinner table, everyone saying what they're thankful for, yatta yatta yatta. I am quite thankful that I've never spent a holiday alone (not that there's anything wrong with that), most often I've spent them with people I really like (nonrelatives), and I've never gone without food. I could go on and on.

And then I get angry about Thanksgiving, that quintessential American holiday that dresses up our history of conquest like an unsuspecting turkey and then flouts our obsession with overconsumption in the most embodied of ways--stuffing ourselves with comfort food.

Ever caught in this quandary between pathos and politics ... I could either leave the country for American holidays (which can be quite refreshing), be a grinch, or suck in up (and in) and feast. For today anyway, bon appetit.

KKKramer

2006-11-21T09:59:00.000-05:00

What is this the year of public racist tirades? The obligatory apology follows these outbursts but hateful sentiments like Gibson's and now Richards' don't just come out of nowhere. I saw a clip from Richards' stand-up routine and he didn't look drunk or possessed or out of sorts in any way. He knew what he was saying and he meant it.

Blackademic has it posted on her website and so does Blackprof. Even more troubling than Richards' tirade is the audience's laughter. One commentor at black prof's site may have a plausible plan to squash this fiasco:

Posted by: elb1999 | November 21, 2006 11:14 AM

Michael Richards and OJ Simpson have announced their intention to make a nationwide 'Heal the Pain' tour, aimed at blacks who were offended.

Richards will call OJ a nigger, and OJ will kill him.

Then all will be right with the world.

yeh, george clooney is sexy as hell but ...

2006-11-16T10:18:00.000-05:00

GIRL BLUE MAGAZINE

Sexiest Man

Gary Dourdan has my vote! Not necessarily for the "sexiest man alive" (because I really don't believe there's such a thing) but certainly (one of) the sexiest in television and film. I've just recently started watching reruns of CSI just to get a glimpse of him. (Is it antifeminist for me to be ranking men?)

"The real" Dr. McDreamy comes in a close second:

Then again, it's a bit of a toss-up between Gary Dourdan and Isaiah Washington ...

(clearly the downtime since my defense has me a bit muddle headed).

it's been one week since ...

2006-11-13T10:16:00.000-05:00

I joined the esteemed ranks of "sista doctas" (a phrase coined by one of the fiercest sista doctas around) and I haven't posted about it on this blog because really I didn't know what to write except perhaps YAY FOR ME!

I'm overjoyed to have the defense behind me. I'm relieved and am in this weird liminal space. I'm honored to follow in the footsteps of Sadie Alexander (among other sista doctas who comprise the talented two percent). The academy can be a difficult struggle for most everyone, but for black women, for first generation college grads, for children of single mothers, for those of us from a working class background, it can be an insane mind fuck because "we aren't supposed to be here" or at least that's what the stats say, that's what the piercing eyes of those who assume we got here by quota say, that's what the good old boys who refuse to die or retire say (when we're not in the room or sometimes even when we are).

But in 1921, Sadie Tanner Mossell Alexander looked all the doubters (and haters) in the face and defied even greater odds than the ones we face today, I suppose. It's all relative isn't it? So 85 years later, I exhale a lengthy sigh, cry a river of joyful tears and proudly say "I did it."

when it all ... it all falls down

2006-11-08T14:05:00.000-05:00

I have little faith in politics but it's past time for something to change. Our public education sucks. Iraq is completely out of control. And let's not forget New Orleans!

Oh yeh, and Rummy b-bye ...

2006-11-08T13:35:00.000-05:00

Chappelle Show Racial Draft

Can we add Ward Connerly to those we'd like to trade? That mutha$&@c# clearly forgot all the bloodshed and waterhosed black bodies that suffered so he could be where he is. GRRR

let's set the record straight (pardon the pun)

2006-10-31T11:53:00.000-05:00

Gay and lesbian Americans can already marry if we define marriage as a public declaration of love, commitment, til death do us part, always and forever amen, blessed and sanctioned by the gods/goddesses/universe/positive energy or whatever sacred or secular belief one chooses to call one's own. These ceremonies are already happening and they have been for some time. So what are we really debating here? Are we battling over what to call these commitments (that I repeat are already in existence and in some cases flourishing)? By continuing to argue the definition of marriage, we seem to be missing the bottomline of civil rights and equality. I'm sure I'll ruffle a few feathers of my hetero and gay and lesbian comrades here by saying this but if we reconfigure the "marriage" debate in civil and legal terms (in my opinion--civil unions for everyone), a much more progressive struggle might be waged, one that doesn't privilege the mainstream heteronormative model of love relationships.

for the love of lauryn

2006-10-27T09:40:00.000-04:00

Could L-Boogie really be back? I'm sure I'm not alone in my longing for Lauryn Hill's return to the public eye nor am I the only 30something that thinks Lauryn is one of the most talented blackwoman performers of our generation. Is she crazy? Was she crazy? Probably only as crazy as necessary for blackwomen to survive in crazyass America. Oh would I have been a fly on the wall of that set at the W...

fried chicken and collard greens (the remix)

2006-10-24T09:38:00.001-04:00

After my class last night, I was looking forward to vegging out in front of the tv for a bit so I turned to the CWs FCCG lineup. As usual Everybody Hates Chris was clever and funny. Tyler James Williams is a star.

All of Us is not awful, it's just pointless. The show started as sort of a parallel of Will and Jada's relationship with the mother of Will's first child. Interesting, anti-"babymama" drama. Focused instead on civilized relationships among extended family. I'm not a regular watcher of the show so I'm not sure what happened to Elise Neal (who was originally cast as Duane Martin's fiancee or wife or something) but now that she's gone, the show really lacks a center. It seems as if Robert (Martin) and Neesee (LisaRaye) are merely dancing around an inevitable reconciliation and boring us all in the process. Khamani Griffin, who plays their precocious son, is to die for however. So cute. He has a cool website too.

As predicted, Girlfriends is not the same without Toni, but I'm still hoping some excitement is going to be stirring up soon (I'm not privy to any insider's info or anything but let's just say the bitch ain't dead yet). At the same time, the show seems to be finally developing Lynn (Persia White's character) a bit. The music thing is a good look for Lynn. Much better than sitting around on her overeducated ass mooching off her friends.

Still no love for The Game. I changed the channel.

has flava flav always been a minstrel or did he just recently become one?

2006-10-22T11:20:00.000-04:00

Few hip hop artists have rivalled the political lyricism of Public Enemy. But the most recent incarnations of Flava Flav (on VH-1's Jerry Springeresque Flavor of Love show) has made me wonder: What role did Flav really play as the hypeman to the otherwise serious and provocative PE? Did his presence in the group make PE a little less frightening to white people? Was he always a dancing minstrel and did we just overlook it as we nodded our heads and pumped our fists to "Fight the Power"?

The more troubling question to me is what does it mean for someone to have been a part of a Public Enemy and to have sunk to such a low ass level for a few dollars (probably more than a few, but you get the drift)? While I do partake in some bad tv, I am not a regular viewer of FOL. I actually cannot make it through an episode for the same reason that I can't watch Jerry Springer. It's just soooo damn stupid, I can't even veg out in front of it. And it's hard for me to wrap my brain around the scantily clothed and loud mouthed (mostly black) women who berate each other and embarass themselves for the camera. Where do they find these women? Really? And are we supposed to believe they are fighting over Flav!? Come on!

The CW's Sunday Night Lineup (or fried chicken and collard greens night)

2006-10-03T15:49:00.000-04:00

Ambivalently anticipating the season premiere of Girlfriends (sans Toni), I turned on the CW's Sunday night lineup (while grading papers of course). I've written about the CW's "network integration" scheme before, cynically pondering the time it would take for the new broadcast network to expunge themselves of all shows black. Isolating all the black shows into their own Sunday night ghetto seems to be a crucial first step. Or perhaps the network execs figured black families, after a long day of church and a hearty soul food meal of fried chicken and collards would be primed to settle down for a night of comedy from 7-9, or until the "itis"(eye-tus) kicks in.

So the premiere of Everybody Hate's Chris was hilarious. The title character, played by Tyler James Williams, is quite the talent. Good casting. Enjoyable storylines.

The fact that the network actually kept All of Us speaks volumes of Will Smith's enduring cache in Hollywood. Otherwise, what the fuh? It's the most pointless show ever (other than The Game, which I'll mention shortly).

Girlfriends sans Toni will not last. Sorry Mara. I really like the show, but Toni adds that "bitch we love to hate" element that made the show's viewers keep a Monday night slot open for the past few seasons. Check the message board at CWTV. Folks are not happy with Jill Marie Jones's departure. Betta bring the bitch back. The opener was weird too. Joan, who was volunteering for Habitat for Humanity after her blowout with her best friends last season decided to take a little jog through the destroyed neighborhoods of NOLA and then broke down in tears. The NOLA shout out I appreciated, but the jogging. Come on now.

The lineup concludes with Mara Brock Akil's new show The Game, starring Tia Mowry (remember her from Sister Sister). Anyway, the show is about footballers' wives in short and um (crickets, crickets -- I wish this thing had sound effects). Was Half and Half cancelled for this snoozer?

Coda: Just found out the chicken and collard greens lineup is moving to Mondays. Not sure what that will bode for the black shows but since there's nothing else worth watching on Mondays perhaps the move will increase viewership. Stay tuned.

the teacher becomes the student

2006-09-30T10:47:00.000-04:00

A couple of nights ago I went to a concert I had been anticipating for the past month or so. KRS-One was rolling through our little midwest city to remind some and teach others what a skilled hip hop MC sounds like. And the tickets were so cheap! One of the few advantages of being outside of a major city.

But as far as having to wait hours for the feature artist to appear, this city is like all the rest. I feel like every streetcorner MC in town took to the stage before we finally were able to see the person we'd come for and we arrived late. But when I heard KRS-One's voice on the mic, I felt like I saw a moving montage of the past twenty years of my life. He asked the audience "Who was bumping Criminal Minded in 1986?" I think only 10 of us could honestly say we were. Most of the kids pumping their fists in the air or break dancing at the foot of the stage were barely even thought of in 1986. Still, its sorta cool to witness the intergenerational and interracial followings that hip hop has made possible. Especially when kids who call themselves "heads" appreciate pioneers like KRS, Cool Herc, Big Daddy Kane, and others.

nightlife in midwest city

2006-09-23T10:10:00.000-04:00

I haven't written much about the social scene in midwest city, mainly because I've been crazy busy meeting the demands of a jf (junior faculty). Like most cities centered around big universities, a great deal of the social scene is catered to college students. We (meaning grown ass adults) typically stay as far away from the college drag in the evening as possible and venture to the other side of town where most of the locals live and hang out. Last night my coworkers/friends and I went to a weird ole lounge. And I do mean lounge. Post-wedding party goers were there. Long haired hippy dads took to the dance floor with their kids. This town is such a throwback from the seventies that I'm ready to break out my afro wig and bellbottoms and just surrender to the time lag.

But anyway, this lounge used to be a bowling alley and so it still sports a big pin on top of the building. It actually wouldn't have been so bad except for the band. A skinny blond with a terrible voice sang pop songs all night ... loudly! We couldn't eat and pay fast enough to get out of this place. Had there been no music or better music .. or more appropriately a drag show, we might have enjoyed the queerness of the place.

The real social enjoyment here comes with being with my new colleagues and friends. I count myself extremely lucky to have entered this new job with a crop of jf who are all around my age, all sort of doe eyed and overwhelmed just like me and who are hip enough to scout out restaurants that don't serve hummus with biryani and places to shop that aren't in a strip mall. Last night, after our lounge expedition, we went to a listening party held by a friend who has started his own band. The band set up shop in my friend's living room and we encircled them in different parts of his lovely home--along the staircase, in the dining room, in the hallway. It was really nothing like I'd ever experienced before. The people who have recently entered my life really make this scary transformation bearable. I'm looking forward to seeing what this new phase in my career and in my life will bring as I settle in to a place that leaves much to be desired but with the kind of people who are exactly what I need at this time. Hm.

sometimes the stars don't lie

2006-09-16T11:17:00.000-04:00

Sagittarius

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
No one can provide you with a sense of confidence in yourself -- you have to feel it. So today, don't wait for applause or accolades. Other people are not as focused on you as you think they're right now, and you don't need their approval anyway. Move forward with false confidence if you must -- but just go forward. It's the focused action you take that will truly impress other people and get you noticed. Plus, it's this type of behavior that will build the real confidence you seek.

confessions of a corny anthem

2006-09-13T16:26:00.000-04:00

Do you ever find yourself moved by one of those corny anthem songs like Destiny's Child's "I'm a Survivor" of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" or even Kelis's "I Hate You So Much Right Now"? Well, my corny anthem song this past few months has been Christina Milian's "Say I."

Now granted, I'm not a Christina Milian fan and I really can't even tell you what else she sings. I just used to hear this record while listening to my favorite gossip Wendy Williams and I would get immediately pumped up:

ima make it happen
ima make a way
if you got something to prove
and you feel the same way
say I-I-I-I-I-I, I-I-I-I-I-I-I

ima keep it gansta
ima make it hot
if you feelin like i do
then people throw ya hands up
say I-I-I-I-I-I, I-I-I-I-I-I-I

It's just one of those songs you find yourself yelling at the top of your lungs in the car or that gets you pumped up on the crosstrainer. Or maybe that's just me. Anyway, try not to judge me too harshly for it.

what you know about dat?

2006-09-08T12:49:00.000-04:00

I don't typically watch award shows. They're too long and the stretches of time between the highlights of the show are a bore. MTV's VMAs are no exception. So while I can't bear to sit through an entire show, I do flip to MTV during one of the many reruns of the show and catch spippets of acceptance speeches and over the top acts. While flipping to the '06 award rebroadcast, I learned a few things I didn't know:

I didn't know Chamillionaire's "Ridin" had something to do with racial profiling. And I certainly didn't know his scheduled appearance to talk about racial profiling on 20/20 has been cancelled. What a shame.

And, I had no idea that Beyonce also watches Janet Jackson videos and practices her dance steps. I used to do that when I was younger too, B. Good job making it your own though.

Another unknown and quite useless piece of info I learned watching the VMAs is that TI is the "King of the South." And I still don't know why? Why are folks making such a big effen deal over TI? He's kinda cute and all but what is he rapping about?! Granted, outside of Outkast and Goodie Mob, I find most hip hop below the Mason Dixon grating and unlistenable. But really TI, the king?

levees and injustice

2006-09-05T12:19:00.001-04:00

Last night, I watched all four hours of Spike Lee's HBO documentary When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts and while I followed and wrote about the government's reprehensible response to Hurricane Katrina last year, watching a detailed play by play of it all over again made me even angrier, even sadder and more ashamed of the US government than I've felt in a long time. Especially because a year after the devastation in Louisiana and Mississippi, people are still displaced, still mourning their lost loved ones, out of jobs, waiting in vain for help from FEMA, and I could go on and on and on.

One friend who watched along with me felt Lee's images of floating and rotting corpses might have been a bit of overkill. (I too have often found myself yelling at the screen of a Spike Lee joint "We get it Spike, okay. We get it!"). But in the case of Levees and the arguable spectacularity of the dead, clearly we don't get it! As another friend intoned while watching the film, no culture--industrialized or Third World--desecrates the dead in the way that national and local officials did in Louisiana. My breathing stopped when a son returned to New Orleans to not only find his home had been destroyed but also that his mother's corpse was still in the house that had been mistakenly marked absent of dead bodies. So clearly we don't get it!

Hopefully Levees will refocus our attention on the people of Mississippi and Louisiana and encourage us to act by writing letters, sending money, or doing whatever our hearts move us to do, and especially holding our government accountable for its complete disavowal of human life. I think the film is extremely important and anyone who can access it should see it. If we find Levees difficult to watch, think about how devastating it must have been to live through.

getting to know edward p. jones

2006-09-02T09:49:00.000-04:00

All Aunt Hagar's Children, a new short story collection by Edward P. Jones was released yesterday and I haven't been so excited about a writer in a very long time. Few writers move me in the way that Morrison and Baldwin do, but Jones has a certain something that I'm eager to keep uncovering. Check out this piece on him in The Times.

2006-08-25T02:02:00.000-04:00

Brandy - Almost Doesn't Count

Since I've been in absentia on the blog tip, I'm offering up a soundtrack that has characterized the last couple of weeks of dissertation revisions. Almost there ... almost ...

the new boss

2006-08-22T06:58:00.000-04:00

bossy-kelis

I'm not crazy about "I'm Bossy," but I LOVE Kelis!

Check out this piece on her in NY Metro

for a lost sistafriend

2006-08-19T11:48:00.000-04:00

"We was girls together," [Nel] said as though explaining something. "O Lord, Sula," she cried, "girl, girl, girlgirlgirl."

It was a fine cry--loud and long--but it had no bottom and it had no top, just circles and circles of sorrow." --Toni Morrison Sula

inspiration

2006-08-04T12:42:00.000-04:00

"...sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
that i can barely hear what god says

but then i hear a whisper that this too shall pass
i hear the angels whisper that this too shall pass
my ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
so i walk in faith that this too shall past."

India.Arie "This Too Shall Pass," Testimony Vol I

der go mammy again

2006-08-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday's NY Times piece "An Image Popular in Films Raises Some Eyebrows in Ads" was really a no-brainer for those of us who have long paid attention to the remammification of many black female images (and I'm well aware of the flipside of this image--the exoticized, usually mixed race figure, but that's the topic of another blog). What infuriates me about this article is the presumption that the image is less offensive if black folks are reproducing and "enjoying" it (as exemplified by the insane popularity of Tyler Perry's "Madea"). Orlando Patterson comments on these distinctions:

“To the black audience, this may be, ‘You do your thing, sister," Professor Patterson said. “The white audience is laughing with her. Then they go back to reality, and they laugh at her.”

I beg to differ, Professor Patterson. I think plenty of black folks are laughing AT her! Missing from this article are the gendered implications of these representations. The article's focus on whether these images are racially offensive ignores the possibility that they could be sexually offensive, especially to black women who are tired of being measured against stereotypes (like some heavy-set black women who people constantly expect to be funny or maternal. Wha? You don't think this translates into real life experiences?).

The loud-mouthed, brash black woman and the big, nurturing Mammy have a long history rooted in racial stereotypes but these images also thrive on their own and feed off the misogyny in some black communities. The revivification of Mammy (if she ever really disappeared), the "castrating" black woman borne out of "cultural Moynihanism" and the babymama of the post-Civil Rights generation are interconnected by a culture of sexualized racism that manifests itself in mediated images but that also impacts black women's everyday lives.

brown girls with guitars

2006-07-31T09:29:00.000-04:00

Thanks to "Negroplease.com" for the link to this LA Times piece on strumming brown girls. From Memphis Minnie to Joan Armatrading to Tracy Chapman to India.Arie, sistas have a long tradition of commanding what used to be considered a "male instrument" (why you think all those male guitarists name their guitars after women?). I've been an admirer of India.Arie since her days playing in small cafes and outdoor venues in Atlanta. Eventhough my friend at starfishncoffee finds India's stuff a bit on the fluffy side at times (and she's right), I just like her (and she's hot!). She can sing about her hair all day if she wants.

I've also been checking for Corinne Bailey Rae. She's super cute but her cuteness doesn't cancel out her talent. Her debut album is quite an enjoyable listen, especially for those hot summer days with the top down (or in my case with the sunroof open). I've long been a fan of Morcheeba but haven't heard Skye Edwards's solo album yet so she's next on my queue.

the known world

2006-07-29T09:56:00.000-04:00

I've just finished reading my latest bedtime book, Edward P. Jones's Pulitzer Prize winning novel The Known World. Perhaps bedtime wasn't the best time to enter Jones's complex world of slave and free in his fictional Manchester, VA. Not only because you might not want to enter a dreamstate thinking about slavery, but also because you get sucked into the world Jones has created with what seems like almost a hundred characters, including free black slaveholding families as well as those who thought the idea of free blacks owning their enslaved "brethren" highly problematic. Jones really forces readers to confront our ideas of race, community, intimacy, humanity and what it means for someone to presume ownership over human beings. Jones doesn't hover much around the usual violences of slavery--the whippings, rapes, dismemberment--though some of it is present, but instead he probes the emotional and philosophical intricacies of "slave" and "master," including the sometimes perverse intimacies that transpire between the two.

When I first picked up Jones's novel, I thought "Do black people have to write about slavery in order to win a Pulitzer?" I'm not saying we should not write about slavery, I just wonder sometimes about how a "fascinated" readership and the publishing industry "like" to see black people represented in print. What "sells" in other words. I'm actually quite fascinated by what Ashraf Rushdy calls the "neoslave" narrative--those narratives written by black writers far removed from slavery but like all of us still entangled within those memories. Those narratives that, as Toni Morrison puts it, "rip the veil drawn over 'proceedings too terrible to relate'" ("The Site of Memory"). Writers like Morrison, Octavia Butler, Gayl Jones and Edward P. Jones try to hear behind those silences imposed on autobiographical slave narratives like Harriet Jacobs's and Frederick Douglass's. Most of those silences involve sexual matters.

Another silence involves those rare instances when free black families--who were wealthy enough and so inclined--owned slaves (these instances are distinct from black people who may have bought their own freedom and then purchased the freedom of their family members). We--as in general reading public--tend to have a myopic vision of antebellum America, one that doesn't include free and educated people of color who did or did not own slaves, whites who weren't racist and abhored slavery, same sex and/or interracial intimacy ... Contemporary writers who delve into those matters offer us a fuller vision of an institution that was vile and violent and also really peculiar. The more we excavate those buried truths around slavery, the better we can confront the challenges of sexuality, gender, race and class that trouble us today.

befuddled friday 2

2006-07-28T13:53:00.000-04:00

It's another befuddled friday and I'm wondering--have we morphed back in time a couple of decades?

Miami Vice is back onscreen
Skinny jeans are all the rage (but not for us gals with booties, okay)
We're immersed in celebratory consumerism (see My Super Sweet 16 and Laguna Beach, for instance)
And perhaps worst of all:
There's another Bush in the White House and Israel is back in Lebanon

Damn! Can we have some peace?

befuddled fridays

2006-07-21T20:59:00.000-04:00

In my constant (and successful) search for ways to procrastinate, I decided to do a weekly blog entry titled "befuddled friday" as a way to sound off about stuff: current events, news etc that just has me befuddled. Not confused per se but more akin to what Arsenio Hall used to term "things that make you go hm."

So here's the first:

Does anyone find it interesting that in the same week President Bush vetoed a bill to expand stem cell research because of his purported moral stance in favor of human life (as if the human lives that could be preserved by doing stem cell research don't matter), at least 250 more people have died in Iraq and at least that many have been killed and are continuing to be killed in Lebanon by Israeli soldiers but our government won't call for a cease-fire (eventhough the UN has)? Is anyone other than me a little befuddled? Or do only some lives count?

pirates

2006-07-17T09:59:00.000-04:00

I like Johnny Depp.
I mean, I really really like Johnny Depp.

That was my main impetus for wasting away several hours yesterday to do a double viewing of Pirates of the Caribbean I and II (as was hanging out with my pals and imbibing appropriate substances that are the natural accoutrements to a Disney film). Though I have always appreciated JD's quirkiness and his decision to choose off-center roles rather than the heart-throb or action adventure crap that actors like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise stay mired in, I haven't seen all of JD's films, particularly not the Hollywood blockbuster Pirates.

So my peeps and I rented the first Pirates and ventured off to see the sequel on the big screen. Though Pirates I began slowly (at least for my taste), it was relatively funny. There was also a fair amount of gender-bending and historically appropriate puns for the educated film viewer. Then we were off to the mall multiplex to see what further adventures and mishaps Disney would dream up for Jack Sparrow and crew.

(spoiler warning for those who intend to see Pirates II)

The first oddity I noticed in Pirates II was that there were an inordinate amount of people of color in the new crew: South Asians, Black folks, etc. I was suspicious immediately as Disney productions tend toward racial stereotyping (and that's putting it lightly). Even in the first Pirates, as my friend at Negroshire pointed out to me before I saw the film, we get an entire film set in the Caribbean in the 1700s and we don't see one slave, no mention of slavery, nothing. Of course a historically accurate depiction of British slavery and imperialism and their exploitation of West Indians and South Asians is outside the purview of "the wonderful world of Disney."

Right in line with imperialist discourse, however, in Pirates II Jack Sparrow's crew gets captured by "savages". These indigenous people of Dominica are portrayed as cannibals who are dumb enough to mistake Jack for a god and even dumber still, they resolve to go after (and presumably cook and eat) the crew's dog after Jack and his white crewmates escape (yeh, remember what I said about the colored crew? they get killed). Prior to seeing the film, I had no idea about the cannibal subplot (but thanks to my spoiler, now you do). I also didn't realize that Indian organizations were calling for a boycott of the film or I wouldn't have seen it.

As if cannibals weren't enough, the film brings in Tia Dalma, a sexualized "voodoo woman," to help the white people ("tia" means aunt in Spanish; I'll let you figure this one out). While I'm not terribly surprised about the perpetuation of these sorts of racist stereotypes in 2006, this just seemed over the top for me ... and really unnecessary (for more on Pirates' racism, see debunking white and official shrub) . The storyline about the flying Dutchman could have stood alone as an adventure plot, which should make people wonder why the filmmaker made the decisions he made: to off the colored crew, to include racist humor at the expense of degrading indigenous people, to bring in a hypersexualized "magical" black woman. Are these images so ingrained in our culture that they just go unquestioned? Are they naturalized at this point? I'm sure lighthearted filmgoers will say I'm making much ado about a silly film. But isn't the fact that Hollywood keeps perpetuating these images reason enough to make a big deal about it?

I have arrived but ...

2006-07-07T18:48:00.000-04:00

my stuff has not. Remember how I waxed poetic about the wonder of having a moving company pack, load and deliver all your stuff as you sit and sip mint juleps and refuse to lift a finger (okay I'm exaggerating a bit)? Well, sometimes there's a catch. You may arrive at your destination and your stuff may linger a few states behind. Apparently I am the first case of a late delivery with my moving company here in midwest city. Yay for me. Luckily I brought plenty of clothes and carted my tv in my car. However I've been dividing my nights sleeping on an air mattress I borrowed and a daybed I bought from World Market. Both are relatively comfortable for a short time, but I've been about two weeks without my very therapeutic (and expensive) mattress that I bought during a bout of sciatica. You know that saying that one shouldn't go grocery shopping hungry? Well apply that to mattress shopping while having sciatica pain. The bed was worth it though as I'm realizing during my time without it.

In any case, I'm exploring my surroundings while trying to furnish an apartment twice as big as the one I had in the BK. And believe me, I'll have no trouble making use of my two sizable bedrooms and large living space. My new complex is also surrounded by lots of trees. I've spotted rather cute bunnies running through the yard and lots of black squirrels skittering about. I have no idea why they're all black. Maybe it has something to do with this part of the area. Who knows? Unfortunately, other than the landscapers, the squirrels and I are the only black inhabitants of this complex that I've seen.

This midwest college town that I've made my new home is visibly divided by color. The side of the "city" where the college is has a more expensive property value and consequently more white people. Most of the students live on this side and quite a few faculty do as well. I decided to live near campus in order to make my first year as junior faculty as easy as possible. I know from my other sistadoctafriends that the first year of meetings and committees and gatherings can be demanding so I've cut out the added difficulty of commuting.

On the Other side of the tracks, a good deal of black people and a queer community dwells. A couple of my friends have purchased or are renting houses over there as it doesn't have many apartment rentals, not nice ones anyway. I explored that area when I came out to apartment hunt and thought I'd rent a loft. Leave it to me to try to fashion urban living out of straw. Apparently there is some revitalization going on in the downtown area and when I buy something, I'll definitely be looking for funkier and more diverse digs. Until then, me and the Jacksons (my name for the black squirrel family) are chilling in the lovely historic district, waiting for Others like us to appear.

independence day

2006-07-04T16:19:00.000-04:00

It's the 4th and as always I remain ambivalent about America's flourishes of patriotism or celebrations of our imagined glorious past. We all know what black folk were up to in 1776. If not, let Frederick Douglass remind you.

Not to mention, I'm not much of a nationalist at heart. Like the Dalai Lama, I think we are all citizens of the world and should govern ourselves accordingly (and not preemptorily invade countries or torture folks or keep them in detention centers) but I digress ...

For this 4th-o-july I've devised an alternative Independence Day to celebrate Lil Kim's release from prison. Yes folks, the Queen Bee was released early from a Philly detention center yesterday for good behavior, and with her street cred intact. So while you're lighting your fireworks tonight or getting drunk off your asses, make a little toast for Kimmy. She's a free woman now.

she has arrived

2006-07-02T14:18:00.000-04:00

I have finally arrived in midwest city usa, which will be my new home, place of employment and site of fresh adventures for some years. I will also have officially lived in each quadrant of the US since I grew up on the west coast (San Francisco 4-eva!) and have lived in the South (GA and TX) and on the east coast (in DC and NY).

After the movers moved all my stuff, I drove the rest of my random things out in my Golf. I had never driven across Pennsylvania before so that was interesting and quite beautiful. Aside from a two minute downpour, the weather was perfect (thankfully I avoided all the areas in the northeast that were flooding). A wide range of music mixes and my new favorite CD, Roy Davis's "Chicago Forever," provided the soundtrack to my journey into unexplored landscape.

When I first entered the midwest, the site of strip mall after strip mall after strip mall almost sent me into a panic. Where's the skyline? The ornate architecture? The bridges? But the Great Lakes region has a lot to offer aesthetically I'm told. I love to hike and be near water so I'm looking forward to some expeditions before the dead of winter sets in.

Most importantly, I'm committed to the choice I made: job over place. I don't blog a great deal about academia because for the most part this blog is my space to write away from work. To sound off about stuff like Star Jones leaving The View or even more serious matters that I'm thinking about, like hurricane Katrina, that have little to do with my day to day worklife. But I have been preoccupied with my academic life recently so I'll say this: choosing was difficult. I had the opportunity to work at a lesser university in my city of choice (NY) or a much better (research 1) in a place I thought I'd never live (the midwest). So I chose job over place and I'm committed to that choice and all that it will mean in terms of my career advancement. But leaving NY was hard. REALLY hard. I'm still mourning and will be for some time, but I'm also 100% -- jumping in with both feet -- invested in my job and this new turn in my life. So here I go. I can guarantee if there's excitement to be had here, I'll find it (and write about it of course) so stay tuned.

on leaving

2006-06-28T09:51:00.000-04:00

It's my last day in a three year series of last days of leaving someplace. Except this place is special. Especially in the summer. Outdoor concerts, street fairs, stylishly clothed women and men with sandalled and manicured feet. In the summer this city pulsates with energy and people, all kinds of people, get out and walk and eat at open air cafes and drink throughout the day and laugh ...
I'm going to miss NY, but it's even more difficult leaving in the summer. Maybe this string of gray, rainy days we've been having will make it a little easier. But I doubt it.

on rape (or after watching dateline's coverage of the duke rape case)

2006-06-24T20:50:00.000-04:00

tell us the facts of
where were you when
what were you doing when
they called you niggerbitchcuntwhore
was it when you (were) entered
or when you left there
what are the facts of
tell us the time when
do you know
do you know what time it is
do you know
how long was it
(in you)
how long
did they have you
how long
how long will black women
have to tell how long (will) it take(s)
how long
what time is it
where were you when
where is the evidence
where were you when
something
happened
evidence
show us your
evidence.

moving me

2006-06-23T15:10:00.000-04:00

It's the weirdest experience sitting around on my ass while movers gently wrap, pack and load my stuff. I've long awaited this day, when I wouldn't have to bribe friends with pizza and beer or try to balance various items on my lone back (I've actually carried a mattress like that before). And now that day is here. I scored a job with more than adequate moving expenses and I get to kick back and wait while three relatively quiet professionals tend to my home goods.

But the waiting is a bit awkward as well. It isn't quiet enough for me to take a nap or do any substantive writing (current blog entry notwithstanding). Plus I have to be alert enough to look up every now and then and make sure they are not packing the "stay" items or to respond when the petite one with the West Indian lilt asks "Does this go?" So I have the drone of the tv as background noise and the distraction of my laptop for surfing the net or ... writing a blog entry. Hopefully they'll be quick (as I've heard rumored) and I can bask in the solace of an almost empty apartment.

a different girl every night

2006-06-21T21:35:00.000-04:00

Me'Shell Ndegeocello's low frequency melodies might be just the remedy for my blues (the source of my blues: subject of another blog entry). I found out about Me'Shell's free outdoor appearance while perusing the Pride Week section of New York Mag online and in spite of what I think might be a slight sinus infection I thought "What could be better than sitting in the park listening to Me'Shell Ndegeocello?" (and for free) Of course I was right. The short concert spotlighted her band "A Different Girl Every Night" and man those guys could jam. They opened up with Jimi Hendrix's "Manic Depression": "Manic depression is touching my soul/I know what I want but I just don't know...how to go about getting it." Did she know I was in the audience?

Narcissism aside, it was a chill atmosphere. The petite head shaven soul maven entered the stage in a simple black skirt and white tee-shirt, her brightly colored sneakers adding a burst of color. She didn't say much in the way of interacting with the audience. She never does really. She introduced her band, grooved with her guitar and crooned:

I do some right
I do some wrong
I pray to let light guide me
I'm just a soul on the planet
I'm trying to do good/be good/feel good

Who says the blues is dead?

"kick this one for brooklyn"

2006-06-15T11:57:00.000-04:00

I'm about two weeks shy of moving to my new place of employment in "midwest city usa" and I feel like I'm in a state of suspension. I still have a dissertation to defend, a new place to become acquainted with and a "home" to leave. I told a friend the other day that New York (actually Brooklyn) is the only place I've lived (and I've lived a lot of places) that I am never quite ready to leave. I was here for a six month stint in '97, living in a Ft Greene brownstone and surrounded by beautiful black bohemes and artists. This time around, I'm here a bit longer, doing a visiting instructorship and living in the tree-lined calm of Park Slope. The thing I love about Brooklyn (even more than Manhattan) is the neighborhoody feel. Manhattan is a bird's eye view from where I live and a ten minute train ride if that, but I don't have to deal with the claustral impact of "the city," yet I can go in and play when I please. And Brooklyn has its own local haunts that I have come to dig, like Moe's and Stone Home wine bar and my neighborhood bar and grill with the super yummy turkey burgers (swiss on mine, please. no cheddar, i really don't care for yellow cheese).

At the same time, I'm looking forward to some career stability, meeting new folks, going different places, etc that the new (tenure track!) job will offer. Like I said: suspension. I don't want to leave, but I don't want to not leave. I'll enjoy kickin it in Brooklyn for the time I have left and take comfort in the fact that it will be here when I return.

network integration

2006-06-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

What happens when a black network merges with a white one? The CW. (Does that stand for coloreds and whites?) UPN has been the designated black network after the death of The Cosby Show and A Different World and after FOX made a name for its network and then drop-kicked all its black shows and the WB followed suit; it had a line-up of black comedies including the Steve Harvey Show and the Jamie Foxx Show until the network drew an audience, then gradually Dawson's Creek, Seventh Heaven and One Tree Hill recolored and reaudienced that station. It's like network gentrification.
Besides The Gilmore Girls (which the CW is keeping), I find most of the shows on the WB trite and boring and aside from Everybody Hates Chris and Girlfriends (also slated for slots on the new network), the UPN doesn't offer up much for TIVO either. I wonder what will happen after the CW is on the air for a season or two. Will "black" and "white" shows exist side by side in a network racial utopia? Will there be gradual white flight from the screen? Or will a bunch of black actors be out of jobs until an"Other" network wants to put itself on the map (ding ding ding)?

what kind of writer should a writer be

2006-06-04T07:28:00.000-04:00

I couldn't resist doing this questionnaire from Dr. Mon's blog:

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.
And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...
Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.
You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

strong black woman

2006-05-22T17:51:00.000-04:00

Does Kathy Griffith really think titling her standup comedy show "Strong Black Woman" has nothing to do with race? I think Ann duCille puts it best in "The Occult of True Black Womanhood":

"Within and around the modern academy [substitute popular media], racial and gender alterity has become a hot commodity that has claimed black women as its principal signifier. [...] Why are they [read white people] so interested in me and people who look like me (metaphorically speaking)?"

Good question, Ann, good question!

in memory of

2006-05-22T10:38:00.000-04:00

Katherine Dunham, one of the most exquisite and talented sista divas to grace this earth passed away last night. Her presence and contributions to the arts will not be forgotten.

NY Times piece
http://www.eslarp.uiuc.edu/kdunham/bio.htm

good things 2: low-carb monster energy

2006-05-20T13:42:00.000-04:00

i love caffeine
i love taurine
i love ginseng
i love l-carnitine
go monster, go!

this little assanine cheer is inspired by my new "good thing": lo-carb monster energy drink with all the above ingredients and a really good taste. and only 10 calories per serving to boot (and there are only 2 servings per large can not 50). i don't mean to sound like an advertisement but as my final days of revision draw close, i need all the energy i can get. now while it ain't pimp juice (thank god), it does pack a really good nonalchoholic buzz and keeps me up in the wee hours of the night.

sexy chocolate

2006-05-18T08:21:00.000-04:00

So I took a break last night and watched the finale of ANTM and Danielle won! (my second favorite after Nnenna got boring and got voted off). Danielle's was a well-deserved victory as the girl is stunning in a very unconventional way (even after the panel 'highly encouraged' her to have dental work, she retained a hint of her signature gap) and she has a body that won't quit! I liked her second runner up as well and thought she'd take the title since Ms Tyra couldn't stop harping on Danielle's country accent and pontificating about how a Top Model needs to be able to annunciate. And she's kinda right: Danielle really does sound country, not southern, COUNTRY. I think she's from Arkansas or one of those places where you find yourself squinting in an effort to understand the words behind the twang and you're satisfied if you just get the gist of it.

Yeh I know Top Model is fluff but I can't very well spend every waking minute thinking about violated maternity in Cane now can I?

revision marathon

2006-05-17T18:36:00.000-04:00

Since turning in my grades at "current school of employment," which is soon to be "ex-school of employment," I've been on a diss revision marathon. I'm not even sure how many hours a day I'm clocking in my attempts to make this document defensible. But I do know that television's off, NPR's on (most of the time, though I do like to listen in to my favorite gossip Wendy Williams) and I'm been practically marooned at my apartment for almost a week, with the exception of a few trips to the gym and grocery store. It actually feels good to have uninterrupted time to focus on my work. I'm sorta beginning to like my project again. Go figure.

survival of the fittest

2006-05-06T13:52:00.000-04:00

I love yoga!

There, I've said it. What's interesting to me is that I'm not that good at it (I'm not very flexible, can't stand on my head and I have a really hard time breathing through moves sometimes). Normally I don't stick to practicing things I'm not good at (like guitar). But I've been practicing yoga for the past six years. Granted I have had hiatuses (some brief, some extended) but for the most part yoga has been one of the few consistent things in my life for awhile.

On to the survival part ... When I get extremely busy (like this year of full-time teaching and diss writing), my workouts tend to fall off and after slipping into a depression that was even scary to me, I've recommitted myself to the gym at least 3X a week for yoga and/or cardio. The diss will be here when I return, and guess what, I might actually be able to work on it!

So far after the past 3 or 4 weeks of sticking to my commitment, I feel almost back to myself again. It really is amazing what giving your body some of the time it deserves can do. In the past, I've stuck with the gym because, face it, I'm too fabulous to get fat (don't get mad all you fatabulous girls out there, okay Mo'Nique). It's a personal preference. I just ain't ready to surrender to Lane Bryant no matter how cute the clothes are. But these days, I'm more concerned with the mental and emotional benefits of working out. It might sound corny and new-agey but doing yoga has helped me cope with grad school, deaths and countless other emotionally taxing dilemmas I've been through on the journey to sistadoctahood. There's no reason it won't get me through this last hoop. I may even be able to stand on my head when it's all over!

bedtime reading

2006-04-28T16:40:00.000-04:00

One of our seniors at "current college of employment" presented her thesis on Baldwin's Another Country. I am an avid Baldwin fan (actually he's one of my favorite writers) but haven't read AN. I enjoyed said student's presentation so much, I decided to take Baldwin to bed.

The only time I tend to pleasure read these days is on the way to bed, on an airplane or on the stationary bike at the gym. Typically, I'll have three or four books beside my bed and will pick up one before I nod off. Currently I have an appropriately titled chick lit read Good in Bed on my bedside table as well as Baldwin's AN. For the past few nights, Baldwin has occupied my final waking hours. "Rufus," AN's protag, has kept me turning pages. So far he's shaping up to be a really dark, emotionally complex character with some wicked ass violent tendencies. I'll see how he continues to unfold.

good things

2006-04-26T18:21:00.000-04:00

Remember how Martha Stewart used to have those annoying segments on "good things"? At the end of the segment, she'd say something ridiculous like "Making your own candlesticks in 5 minutes, that's a good thing." My good things have little to do with Martha Stewart, with the exception of my use of the phrase, but here goes ...

So in an effort to shift my bluemood of late, I've been focusing on good things like:

My latest CD discovery, Brazilian Girls, this really cool kinda electronica, downtempoish group with no Brazilians and only one girl. One of my favorite ways to procrastinate is searching and downloading music from I-tunes. It can get a little addictive and expensive but now I-tunes has this feature called "Just for You" and though some of the music is really not for me and I'm wondering how they're compiling this list based on my library, the I-tuners did recommend Brazilian Girls "just for me" and I quickly downloaded and burned the grooves to a blank CD. I've been listening to it for days, while working of course.

on lockdown

2006-04-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

While I've managed to miss most of Lil' Kim's reality tv show "Countdown to Lockdown," (writing diss, not watching tv) I came home from work Thursday evening beat down from the demands of academe and really all I could ingest was a couple of hours of bad television. So lucky for me, I got to watch the last two installations of "lockdown."

And I really felt badly for Kim. The 2nd to last episode spotlighted her going away party. Her friends and family (including folks like Mary J Blige and Swizz Beats) approached a microphone and sent Kim off with love and well-wishes. In what actually appeared to be a show of real emotion, Kim also broke down in tears as she recalled the sacrifices she's made for her "friends" (including going to jail by the way), and the lack of reciprocity a lot of folks have shown her. And you know what? I actually believe her. She lives by "the code of the streets," one aspect of which is loyalty to those you call your own. Now I'm not endorsing the "stop snitching" code that has become more pronounced in besieged communities nor am I saying everyone from the "hood" is genuine and loyal (hence, Lil' Kim taking the fall for some ole wanna-be gansta bullshit), but in my experience growing up in lower-working class digs, there was certainly a sense of community and family in some senses with the folks from your neighborhood. As for people coming in from other hoods, well ... they had to watch their backs.

I think perhaps the most real footage from "lockdown" may have been the last few hours of Kim's life outside. Lil' Kim had to peel off the weave, the fake nails, fake eyelashes and who knows what else and Kimberly Jones really had to go to prison. Her mom, her cousin and other friends and entourage accompanied her on the busride from New York to the Federal Detention Center in Philly. And viewers and fans watched as Kim entered the facility where she would serve her sentence--a year and a day. Female inmates banged on the windows in support of Kim. The building shook.

black female sexuality and white (male) privilege

2006-04-17T14:16:00.000-04:00

While I haven't crafted an eloquent response (or lament) about the recent happenings at Duke, Duke University professor and avowed black male feminist Mark Anthony Neal offers a suggestive critique of the situation at Pop Matters.

bogged down blogger

2006-04-14T09:01:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I've fallen off on my reportage for Countdown to Lockdown. I haven't screamed into cyberspace my disgust about the scandal with Duke's LaCrosse team. I haven't weighed in on the current cycle of America's Next Top Model (and my obsession with Nnenna) or this season of The Sopranos (which is weird as hell, right?). In other words, I've been a bad blogger or rather a blogger bogged down with dissertation revisions.

Now on the wire, between the end of a long ass journey through academe and a tenure-track job, I'm tired, anxious and I look and feel like a hot mess. (My version of a hot mess: fallen off at the gym and it shows! Need a haircut and an eyebrow wax and let's not forget those feet! It's almost springtime afterall. And, can I um wear something besides pajamas and sweats? Oh, that would require me dropping off my laundry! Yes -- dropping it off. I do live in NY afterall.) I answer about half my phone calls, return my e-mails on occasion and go out even less frequently. These are all signs of the end, I'm told as are my highs and lows, crying fits and desire to take a nap in the middle of the day or sometime as soon as I wake up.

But the diss is not my sole tormentor. It's almost the end of the academic year and my students are freaking out and becoming increasingly needy: they need to drop the course (cuz they be failing), they need extra credit (not going to happen), they need need need. And I wish I could accomodate more of their needs but most of the time, showing up and leading discussion for an hour and forty minutes (for three classes by the way) is all a girl can do. As well as grade papers, chair senior theses and actually prep for those three classes.

But as the elders say "trouble don't lass always." And I know that to be true, but sometimes it's hard to look forward to the end when you're bogged down in the muddle of it all. Ah well, for now I'll settle for looking forward to my Sunday tv break aka The Sopranos.

ms jones, i presume

2006-03-12T18:55:00.000-05:00

I took a Sunday afternoon off from the Big D to catch a matinee show of Sarah Jones' Bridge & Tunnel during what was slated to be its last weekend on Broadway. Not only does Jones adopt a panoply of ethnic American voices, but she embodies her characters in a way that makes you forget that she's just switched a coat or a hat, or put on a pair of sunglasses. You really feel as if you are viewing different characters. I thought perhaps Jones would remind me of Anna Deveare Smith, whose Fires in the Mirror and Twilight: Los Angeles had captivated me some years ago. But Jones has a style all her own. Smith calls herself a "repeater" as she interviews people and sort of repeats their voices and gestures, their overall personas really. But Jones combines body and voice, humor and tragedy in a way that is original, refreshing and quite brilliant.

One of my favorite sketches is when Jones enlivens a Chinese woman named Mrs. Ling. She talks about the struggle she's had to accept her daughter's lesbianism. Mrs. Ling's daughter finds out her lover's work visa didn't come through and she will be deported. Jones takes that storytelling moment to remind us that had that been a heterosexual pairing, the couple could have married, but that same gender loving people do not have such an option. I can't possibly summarize it as well as Jones performs it, but it was quite moving and political without beating the audience over the head with a gay marriage banner.

The good news is that B & T has been extended at Helen Hayes Theatre so if you haven't seen it, go ... now. This young, talented sista deserves all the support and acclaim she's gotten so far and even more.

countdown to wha?!

2006-03-11T19:28:00.000-05:00

"In 14 days, I am going away," the Queen Bee confesses directly to the camera. The forebodance in her voice is veiled by her attempt to remain poised, to present a carefully constructed persona to her fans. The "strong," streetwise Bella Mafia may be down but she ain't out. If anyone can hold it down while locked up, she can ... she can.

March 9 marked the first episode of BET's "Lil' Kim: Countdown to Lockdown." Now while I'm not a fan of BET's programming (actually I'm wondering when they'll feature a remake of Amos 'n Andy), I couldn't miss witnessing the last 14 days of Lil' Kim's "freedom."

The premiere episode was rather chaotic. Kim and her staff are busy preparing for the release of her most recent album Naked Truth and the videos that will accompany it. Kim's doing appearances, ranting about how much she hates the video for her first single and greeting fans. The signature moment in this first episode is when a young fan of Kim's hands her a note to read in her limo. So touched by this young girl's admiration of her, Kim calls the girl's cellphone. I'm not saying all this affect is for the camera's benefit ... but I'm not saying it isn't either.

While I'm skeptical about the "realness" of "reality tv" in general, it will be interesting to see if Lil' Kim's show offers any insight into a woman I think is quite fascinating. I've always wondered about what lies beneath all the makeup, the hair, the plastic surgery... What's Lil' Kim's story? Really. And how might that story impact her young blackgirl fans in a different way than rapping about money, fame and fucking does? Maybe we'll find out. I'll certainly stay tuned.